Another post from the angry Pinay

So according to the Pilipino American Identity Development Model, I would assess myself to be at Level 5: Ethnocentric Realization. 

“This stage is triggered by an event (either negative or positive) that helps the pinoy/pinay understand that he or she has been unjustly classified in the Asian American paradigm.  He or she has become aware of the marginalization of pinoys and pinays as Asian Americans, and he or she has been educated on the social injustices and invisibility of specificially to F/Pilipinos in American Society… the Filipino may be seen as angry, but he or she is even more angry because now the anger is directed not only toward the dominant culture but toward the entire society around him or her.  He or she does not want to be marginilized or neglected any longer.” -

This identity model asseses the individual on 5 aspects: his or her attitudes and beliefs toward his or herself, towards other F/Pilipino Americans, other Asian Americans, other minority groups, and toward the white/dominant group.

1. My attitude towards myself… I definitely feel a sense of self-empowerment through being able to proudly identify myself as a Pinay.  Many Filipino Americans go through a stage of self-depreciation as they strive to live up to white standards.  But I am no longer embarassed about my flat Filipino nose that I used to pinch every night before going to sleep in the hopes that I might one day wake up with a bridge.  There weren’t very many Filipinos where I grew up, so in high school I identified myself with the broader Asian-American group so that I could identify with a community.  Now in college at UCI, the campus with the highest percentage of Asian-Americans in the nation, I don’t think of myself as an “asian girl”.  I think of myself as a Filipina. 

2.  My attitude towards other F/Pilipino Americans… I am deeply involved in the Filipino American community.  I get frustrated with friends and family members, other Filipinos, who are still self-depreciating and are apathetic towards our culture and community.  Filipinos have higher high-school drop out, children out of wedlock, and HIV/AIDS rates than any other Asian American group.  But this isn’t something to feel hiya (shame) about.  It points to special needs in our community that aren’t being addressed.  “The model minority” is a myth especially when we are a marginalized group within that minority. 

3.  My attitude towards other Asian Americans… According to the model, depending on my experiences, I could either have a neutral or negative attitude towards Asian Americans.  I suppose I have learned to distinguish myself from the broader Asian American community not only because of the huge cultural differences between Filipinos and other Asian American communities, but also because of some of the prejudice I have felt.  I have been told from other Asian Americans that Filipinos don’t usually go to college, that Filipinos are cheap, and that Filipinos are not Asian.  I’ve heard the recurring “joke” that Filipinos are the Mexicans of Asia, referring not only to Spanish colonization but to the occupation of many Filipinas as domestic servants.  I once told my dad that I went to an event hosted by my school’s Chinese Association.  He laughed and told me they must have been wondering what I was doing there.  But I wouldn’t say that my attitude towards other Asian Americans is negative.  It’s important to recognize the huge cultural and psychological differences between Filipino Americans and other Asian Americans; the Filipino Umbrella Organization at UCI split from the Asian American/Pacific Islander Student Association because we felt that our issues weren’t being advocated for as strongly as we could fight for them ourselves.  But through organizing I also realize the importance of maintaining respect and a relationship with other Asian Americans as allies.

My attitude towards other minorities…  I’ve always been able to relate to Latinos as much, if not more than I have been able to relate to other Asian Americans.  While I was in Peru I felt comforted by the number of cultural similarities between Peruvians and Filipinos.  I’ve worked a lot with different communities of color  and can identify myself as a woman of color as easily as I can identify myself as a Pinay. 

My attitude towards white/dominant society… In High School I realized that one of my biggest fears was of older white men in business suits.  This is because I am afraid that I can never achieve any authority over him.  This man has power, privelage, and opportunity that I can never attain and my word will never be taken over his.  I guess that makes me angry.